Birth "Experience"

So today is Jayden's 17th month birthday! Yeah, I still celebrate his monthly birthdays! We shared a chocolate donut in celebration! I've been thinking about how much I read on the web about birth experiences, and women who were "robbed" of their perfect birth, or are depressed over not having the experience they wanted. You know what I say? If you have a healthy baby, your birth experience is exactly how it should have been!

When I was pregnant, I read so much about having a birth plan so I decided to make one. It's a really good thing I wasn't overly passionate about it, because my labor and delivery was so completely different than I could have imagined. I had assumed I would have one of those labors you see in the movies, where I wake up in the middle of the night, and yell "Honey, it's time!" Yeah, Jayden had different plans. At 41 weeks I scheduled my induction date for September 2nd. Of course, nothing goes as planned and the hospital did not have an open bed for me, so I didn't go in until 7 AM on September 3rd.  The first day of induction was a breeze, I was given Cervidil, and layed in bed watching TV all day. I had pain, but it wasn't horrible. The nexy day I was given Pitocen, and had my water artifically broken at about noon. That's when labor really began.  I got the epidural about 2 PM. The anesthesiologist was an ass. He was so mean to me! Figures a man would not understand the pain of contractions.  Throughout the rest of the day, I think I napped for 20 minutes. I'm not even sure if I was actually sleeping, because I was still completely aware of the pain. Around 11:30, the nurse said I could start pushing. I pushed and pushed, but I felt like I was doing nothing. Then they started giving me oxygen, since Jayden's heart rate was dropping. The oxygen mask made it harder for me to take in deep breaths and I was so dehydrated.  I gave up. I asked for a c-section.

On my way to the operating room, I started to panic over being cut open while awake. The nurse and I decided it would be best for me to be knocked out. Jayden was born at 2:44 AM on September 5th. I woke up feeling like I was hit by a mac-truck, but that quickly took back seat to meeting my baby. He was so perfect - all 8lbs 3oz and 21 inches of him. Yeah, healing sucked but it really didn't matter. I was out of bed by evening and able to walk around myself the next day.

All in all, having a baby is an experience. It does not matter if you do it naturally or take the epidural. Even when you get a c-section, you are giving birth to your child. It's not about you. That baby in your arms is worth whatever you experienced to get him or her there.

I'm not saying to not plan or to throw any expectations out the window, but keep in mind the big picture. A healthy child is the ultimate goal. This is one of the hugest moments in your life, but it is not a defining moment. No one is "more of" a mother because of how they gave birth.